MARRIAGE MADE IN HÊLL

Episode 2 MARRIAGE MADE IN HÊLL The man in the picture was not a stranger. Though I didn't know his name, I was certain we had met somewhere before. The familiarity of his face haunted me, refusing to let me look away from the wedding frame. Still staring at the photograph, my mind flashed back to the holidays I spent visiting my uncle in Onitsha, Anambra State. Instead of traveling to the village to be k¡lled with farm work, I prefer spending my holiday with uncle Jude and Aunt Nkechi, his wife. There, I didn't have much to do. In addition, Aunt Nkechi manages a big provision store. And whenever I visited, I'd spend most of my days helping out at the shop, selling goods to customers and getting to know the town. The best part was the tips I received from satisfied customers, which I'd carefully stash away in my pocket. Sometimes, I'd even manage to sneak in a few extra charges, cleverly padding the prices to increase my earnings. By the time I returned to school, I'd be swimming in money, the envy of my mates. This arrangement worked beautifully for me, and I'd often spend the greater part of my holidays with my uncle and aunt. I'd reserved the last weekend for visiting my mother so I could pick up some foodstuffs. There were even times when I wouldn't visit home at all. My mother would waybill goods to me. All I had to do was pay for the shipping, and I'd receive a care package filled with foodstuffs. Then during one of my holiday visits, I was helping out at Aunt Nkechi's shop when a peculiar-looking man walked in. He was sh0rt, with a wide nose and a d¡rty mustache. His attire spoke of luxury, but it didn't hide the fact that man was really μgly. This story belongs to Joy Ifunanya I stood up to attend to him, trying my best to maintain a neutral expression. "Good evening, sir. How may I help you?" I asked politely, attempting to avoid staring at his unattract¡ve face. He nodded in response and began exchanging pleasantries with Aunt Nkechi. "Mama, is this your sister?" He asked, nodding in my direction. Aunt Nkechi nodded. "Yes, my husband's sister." She said The man's eyes lit up. "Wow, what a beauty!" He exclaimed, staring at me with an intensity that made me feel uncomfortable. "Thank you, sir" I muttered, and blushed slightly, trying to play down the compliment. "God really did a wonderful job creating you," He said, his voice dripping with sincerity. I forced a smile. "Please, what do you want to buy?" I asked, trying to steer the conversation back to the task at hand. He pointed out several items, and I efficiently packaged them for him. When he paid, he handed me an extra 5,000 naira…the largest tip I had ever received. “Thank you so much”. I said excitedly as I tucked the money into my pocket. In appreciation, I packaged the items for him and also helped in carrying them into his car. From that day on, the man became a regular at the shop. Whenever he came, I was always the one attending to him, and he never left without giving me a generous tip. One day, after I had finished packaging his items, he called my uncle's wife over to speak with her in his car. They talked for a while, and when she returned, she didn't say anything to me. However, I noticed that she started mentioning him more frequently, always saying something nice about him whenever we were together. "That man is a billionaire, oh!" She had exclaim one day. "Seriously?" I responded nonchalantly. "I envy the woman he's going to marry," She had said. "Is he not married yet?" I asked. "No, he's single….. very much single”. She said, staring at me suspiciously. “Hmmm” I hummed, trying to avoid her gaze. “Do you know that if I weren't married, I would have gone for him?." She said. "Hmmm, it's not too late; you can div0rce Uncle and marry him." I said, jokingly. We both laughed. One day, she had excused herself to retrieve something from inside the market, leaving me to manage the shop on my own. I welcomed the opportunity, believing that I could make more sales and earn more money without her supervision. Just as I was starting to feel comfortable, a familiar figure walked into the shop. It was the same man. I stood up to welcome him, forcing a bright smile onto my face. "Good afternoon, sir," I greeted. "Good afternoon, dear. How are you?" He asked, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he smiled. "I'm fine, thank you," I replied. And then went through the motions of asking him what he wanted to buy. But to my surprise, he shook his head. "I'm not here to buy anything today," He announced, his eyes locked onto mine. I raised an eyebrow, feeling a sense of unease. "Ohhhkay?" I replied, my voice tentative. "I'm here to see you," He said, his voice low and husky. I felt a shiver run down my spine as he began to pour his heart out to me. He told me that he had been drawn to me from the moment he met me, that he couldn't stop thinking about me, and that he wanted to make me his woman. This story belongs to Joy Ifunanya The thought of that alone filled me with h0rror and disgμst. You needed to see this man, very sh0rt, dark, black…if there's an award for most unattractive man in the world, would have no runner-up. "You're not serious, are you?" I asked, trying to keep my tone light and mocking. "I am more than serious. He said, and paused before continuing. ….Look, I'm not here to h¡t and run. I'm serious. I want to be your last bus stop, your Mr. Right." He continued. As he spoke, I felt a wave of anger and revulsion wash over me. I imagined myself introducing this h0rrible-looking man to my parents as my suitor. I pictured myself standing before the altar with him, exchanging vows and promising to love and cherish him for the rest of my life. I pictured my friends, dressed in their elaborate aso ebi uniforms, sitting in the front pew, their heads bowed, their faces covered with handkerchiefs to stifle their giggles as they definitely would be secretly laughing at me. The thought filled me with rage and embarrassment, and I felt myself blowing hot, my anger and disgust boiling over like a cauldron. "How dare you!" I spat. “Hmmm”. He hummed, obviously taken aback by my outburst. "How dare you think that I would ever consider you as a suitor?”. I screamed. “Why? What is wrong with me?” He asked, looking confused. “Are you seriously asking me that? Do you not have a mirror at home? Oga, you're old, you're μgly…. you're disgusting. I wouldn't marry you even if you were the last man on earth!". I screamed. “Why are you saying all these to me? It's not fair”. He said, his voice calm. But the insμlts poured out of me like venom, my voice rising. Even when I noticed that the neighbors and passerbys were gathering around, watching the scene unfold, I didn't stop. I continued raining abuses at him. To a point, his eyes turned bright red with shame, and he took a step forward. This story belongs to Joy Ifunanya “Please, bring your voice down, people are watching”. He pleaded, his voice barely above a whisper. But that only added to my frμstrations. I increased my voice the more.When he couldn't stand it anymore, he turned around and walked on out of the shop. That was when I stopped shouting and began to murmur. The people began to disperse, whispering to each other and glancing back at the man, who quickly retreated to his car and sped away. My uncle's wife arrived at that moment, and when she noticed the disorganization, she rushed into the shop, demanding to know what had transpired. I explained the entire ordeal to her, expecting empathy and support. But to my surprise, she was furious with me. "Tochi, you're wrong. She scolded. …How could you treat a man like that?" I was taken aback by her reaction. "I don't understand. Do I no longer have the right to say “no?". I asked. "Listen, you have every right to reject a proposal, but you must do it politely." "So, what are you saying?. Should I have knelt down and said, 'I'm sorry, sir, I'm not interested in being your girlfriend. You're too μgly for me'?" She glared at me, her patience wearing thin. “Oh God this girl. You're so childish”. She exclaimed. She then picked up her phone from the desk. ….Now listen, I'm going to call that man right away, and you're going to apologize." "I will do no such thing, Aunt". I said, and she knew that was final. She dropped the phone and didn't say anything again until we returned home later in the night. While we ate dinner, she reported the incident to her husband, and he was equally furious with me. He ordered me to apologize, but I refused. The argument escalated, and I realized it was time for me to leave. The next morning, I packed my luggage and announced my departure. “Why so sudden?”. Aunt Nkechi asked. “Something came up in school*. I Iied. Well, they didn't try to stop me. My uncle simply dropped me off at the park, handed me some cash, and drove away. I didn't look back. When I arrived in Enugu, I shared the entire story with my friends. They were really mãd. "Apologize for what?" Ebere exclaimed. "Ask me oh!" I replied, laughing. "That f00lish man should be the one apologizing to you! Standing before you and spewing all that n0nsense is an insult in itself." She added. "Can you imagine?. I said, flipping my hair over my shoulder. …..With all my beauty, I'd end up with someone like him?". I said. We all burst out laughing. And for the rest of the week, we commiserated and made jokes about the situation. After that incident, I have never set my eyes on that short mãn again. * But then…this wedding frame with him and me in it, dressed as man and wife, beaming with happiness. How come about it?. Shåre for the next episode. 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏