Her military father

Bro, if anybody ever tells you that love is sweet, just ask them if they have ever been locked in a toilet for five hours because of it. It all started when I went to visit my sweet baby, Chiamaka. She told me her dad wasn’t around, so I should come over. You know na, I didn’t need a second invitation. I showered, sprayed my best perfume, and dressed like a gentleman even though my mission was everything but gentle. I reached her house, and everything was smooth. We laughed, ate, and then, one thing led to another… activity commenced. It was all going well until we heard it. The voice of doom. "Chiamaka! Open this door before I break it down!" Her father. Her military father. My soul immediately left my body and sat beside me on the bed, shaking its head. “Baby, what do we do?” I whispered, already considering hiding under the bed. “Go to the toilet!” she hissed. I didn’t argue. I grabbed my trousers and ran like a thief. My brain was still processing my sins when I heard the door unlock. I didn’t even have time to wear my shirt before I squeezed myself inside the toilet, my heart doing gbim gbim like a talking drum. From the toilet, I could hear everything. Her father was already suspecting something. “Chiamaka, why is your room smelling like sweat?” “Daddy, it’s the weather,” she replied. “Global warming is affecting us.” Global what? This girl wanted to get me killed. My phone suddenly vibrated. I checked it Chiamaka had texted me. "No noise. Daddy is angry. I’ll get you out later. Just stay there." I was sweating. I stayed there for five hours. Five. Whole. Hours. I couldn’t cough. I couldn’t breathe too loudly. My bladder started protesting, but I held it like my destiny depended on it. At some point, I even started making deals with God. "Lord, if you let me escape, I will never nack in my girlfriend’s house again." I could hear Chiamaka and her dad watching TV, laughing, and eating rice, while I was in the toilet suffering like a prisoner of war. At some point, I even considered coming out and saying, “Daddy, good evening, sir. I just came to check your plumbing system.” But I knew I wouldn’t live to tell the story. Finally, around 11 PM, Chiamaka came to whisper through the door. “Babe, the coast is clear. You can escape.” I almost cried. My legs were numb, but I managed to tiptoe out of the toilet like a thief. She led me to the backyard. I looked at the fence—it was tall. But freedom was on the other side. I didn’t think, I just climbed. The first time I tried, my leg slipped, and I fell on the ground like a sack of beans. I wanted to cry. “Babe, hurry!” Chiamaka hissed. I tried again. This time, I made it! I was on top of the fence, about to jump, when I heard the worst thing. “Who is that?!” Her father. I didn’t wait to know if he saw me. I jumped. I landed in a bush, scratched my arm, but I didn’t stop running until I reached my house. That night, as I lay on my bed, still shaking, I realized something: Love is sweet, but survival is sweeter.... ©️ Princess Amadi If you're really enjoying my content like it, comment,